The divisiveness, bigotry, and hatred that create “thems” is the product of ignorance and insecurity. We all come into this world ignorant and insecure. With the help of others and our own efforts, we have the opportunity to become knowledgeable and secure as we develop independence. We are then able to create love, inclusiveness, win-win, and a world where there is no them, there’s ONLY US.
With the help of mentors and experts, we’ve identified eight traits that produce these valuable results and provide you with a lifetime of confidence, security, knowledge, and opportunities. Check them out, try them out, and decide for yourself.
Trait #1: Thoughtful Decision Maker
A thoughtful decision maker reasons through evidence to get to the best conclusion where a thoughtful rationalizer starts with the conclusion and creates a plausible justification. Thoughtful rationalizing created the Holocaust, the trans-Atlantic slave trade, and other wide-spread oppression. Thoughtful decision making liberated Europe, emancipated slaves, enabled women to vote, and continues to be the catalyst of progress and the path to where there is no “them”, there’s only us.
Trait #2: Takes Charge
Doesn’t wait for it, creates it. Taking ownership and being proactive is the key to actually creating something better. Creating Only Us relationships requires people that take initiative and take action.
Trait #3: Perpetual Learner
For many people, ‘learning’ has a negative connotation because the way they’ve experienced it is the tedious job of regurgitating what someone else is looking for. Real learning is an enlightening and exciting experience of making new connections, gaining new understandings, learning to learn in different ways, and finding solutions to real problems with others. We NEED others. Only Us learning is collaboration between mentees and mentors, not task-masters and task-doers.
Trait #4: Objective Focused
With the previous traits in place, goals and objectives will be well thought out and proactively pursued. The commitment to creating an Only Us world can now be broken into specific relationship objectives. For example, developing a mentee-mentor relationship with a math teacher.
Trait #5: Skilled Investor of Time
There are so many different things we can fill our time with. But, time is a limited resource. We only have so many hours in a day and only so many days in our lifetime. Thoughtfully deciding how to invest that time is key to meeting existing opportunities and maximizing the value of your time. Investing time in developing and maintaining healthy relationships is the path to Only Us.
Trait #6: Interpersonal Master
As with foods, developing a taste for people of all different types is the key to the richest life. We can’t become our best selves alone. Our ability to be curious as we work to understand others while also being effective in helping them understand us will be one of our most valuable traits. Being able to interact and enjoy both social and professional interactions and collaboration is the goal.
Trait #7: Win-Win Committed
Expanding on the trait of being individually objective focused is being inclusive of others and ensuring there are mutually beneficial objectives that are being collectively orchestrated and worked on to create win-wins for everyone involved. Accomplishing objectives as a team is even better than accomplishing them individually. This is the realization of Only Us relationships.
Trait #8: Grateful and Giving
Along with developing the trait of gratitude for the opportunities and adventures is the trait of giving back and becoming a mentor that shares their best (and the Only Us Eight Traits 😉) with others.